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of Self Talk


MAY, 2020

Celtic Soul Essence

You can listen to this episode on my Podcast.

Why do we find positive self-talk so hard?

I often ponder why self-care is so hard for us?    When it comes to looking out for others especially those closest to us, caring comes naturally for most of us.

So why doesn’t that follow on to how we care for ourselves?   Are we hardwired with the missing link to that part of the brain that feels that self-care is ok?

When I coach women one of the areas I cover with her, are her values. Our self-talk brings us to the core of our values. Time and time again I see how those value systems are totally cross wired.   AND all too often we find that we are plugged into someone else’s value system.   Imagine how that sounds when we say it out loud, it almost seems impossible.

Today I want to talk about self-talk as an element of self-care and invite you to challenge yourself on how good you are at self-care.

I invite you to record everything you say to yourself each time you talk to yourself, over a period of a week.

Here are some prompts to help you.

  • Keep a note of the first thing you say to yourself every morning, that means writing it down each day.
  • What does your self-talk say when you look at yourself in the mirror for the first time in the morning?
  • After you put on your clothes?
  • When someone complements you.
  • When someone challenges your power.

After a couple of days see if there is a pattern forming around your self-talk?

Compare what you have written down with what you might say to a friend who looks tired.  You might counsel her, “You look tired, maybe you should take a rest”.

Consider to yourself whether you ever say those things to yourself?  Do you ever invite yourself to do something that would benefit your mental or emotional health?

If you were entertaining your best friend would you feed her with whatever is the handiest or with something past its sell by date?

Treat your own body the way you would treat your best friend

Stop, pause and ask yourself often what does your body needs right now?

Perhaps it’s as simple as a drink of water?

If you saw your partner staying up late working or bingeing on a TV series even though he was exhausted and had an early start in the morning would you gently nudge him and ask him if maybe he should go to bed for his own sake?

We always have a choice and often we forget that we have a choice as to how we treat ourselves.

“We can tune in and ask ourselves what we really need in order to feel happy, to feel well or at peace”.


One simple way to get back in touch with ourselves is to take a walk in nature.  Nature has an ability to bring us balance, WHY?  Because nature does not complete it just is.

Wildflowers and nettles grow side by side with no judgement from the trees. Weeds grow proudly beside a beautiful rose bush.    It just is.

The sounds of nature bring us balance because they have no malice, they are melodious, rippling and peaceful.

Nature of course can remind us of her strength when she kicks up a storm and purges.

But she comes back after and renews herself. Season after season she knows her place, she doesn’t hide herself from the depts of darkness of Winters, she knows things will get brighter, they always do.

Nature can teach us to pull back the falseness we put on to be something we are not.

It’s renewing to stop the nonsense we put ourselves through to this end.  Pause, listen and purge what doesn’t fit you and await the rewards life brings you.