Building Blocks for Emotional Health

What is emotional health/emotional intelligence?

Having good emotional health or intelligence as it is often called, is our ability to deal appropriately with situations in life while allowing ourselves to feel each emotion that comes up in any given situation.  No emotion is negative, in fact what emotions are, are pieces of energy which have a message for us.  When we realise this, we can use this to our benefit.

Antonio Damasio defines emotions as “Energy in motion, e-motion”. We are all made of energy and our emotions are pieces of energy that flow through us when we feel something.   Our words carry the energy of our feelings and influence the person they are directed at.

If we speak in a loving manner to a child for example when they are feeling ill, they will feel nurtured and loved.  On the other hand, if anger gets triggered inside of us by something someone does we may respond in an angry tone and may even spit out our words infused with rage.  Rage, as an emotion, is anger on fire and the energy of these words will have an energetic influence on the other person.

Of course, there are times when someone may do something to us or say something to us that is not right, and we may be justified to feel anger towards them. However, learning to harness this anger may have a better result for us in the long run.

This does not mean we have to accept what the other person did or said to us, it just means we are emotionally intelligent enough to respond in a way that serves US best.

Skills to become an emotionally intelligent person

Being assertive is a more intelligent way to approach a situation like this, saying what we mean in a way that the other person realises we don’t accept what they have said or did.  We really stand in our personal power when we do this.   Of course, it is not always easy to do this, but for our emotional and mental health it is a skill that is very empowering for us!

Learning to not take things personally is also a huge lesson for us to learn as is learning the skill of being resilient.

Learning these life skills helps us realise that another person’s outburst is coming from their story not yours.

“Not my monkey, not my circus”. 

Anger and what it has to tell us

Let’s take a lot at anger as an emotion and how we can use it in an emotionally intelligent way.

Anger tells us our boundaries are being attacked, our personal power even.  When we feel anger, this may trigger in us a sense of “how dare they invade my personal space”.

This may be because it is triggering a past story when our personal power was taken away from us; perhaps we were told to sit down be quiet or suck it up.

Another person may not get triggered in the same way as they may be comfortable with their personal power and so they will not react with anger, it may just wash off them.

We are all different and we all react differently to what others say to us depending on the stories we hold and the emotions that are wrapped around these stories.

What is our fear telling us?

Fear tells us instinctually that something is about to happen or could happen to us and is a very necessary emotion, but one we want to learn to let flow through us, just like all the emotions. We don’t want to stay in fear of everything as when we hold onto fear it can turn into its’ higher spectrum of fear which is anxiety.

As with anger above we can learn to work with emotions like fear and anxiety and understand what they are trying to tell us.

Energy therapies

Energy therapies work well with emotional issues and stuck emotions in our energy body, because we are dealing with like for like.  A therapy like Emotional Freedom Technique (which you can learn free at my website) is a great tool to help us unravel our emotions from the stories we hold onto.   And more importantly we begin to see what emotion is there and what story is attached to it.   This awareness allows us break free from emotions we no longer need nor want to hold onto.

EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique is a tool that once we learn it, can be used anytime one of life’s curve balls hit us.  We can also use it to deal with another person’s emotions towards us or another person’s projections on us.

We can all learn skills to help us be more emotionally intelligent and in so doing take back control of our life and manage our emotional and mental health.

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Author, Soul Care Practitioner, Speaker, Podcaster, Energy Therapist and Mum.

 

 

The Ancient Art of Yoni Steaming

The Ancient Art of Yoni Steaming

The ancient art of yoni or vaginal steaming is a ritual using an herbal remedy that has unfortunately been lost in our modern age. 

We have also for the most part, lost touch with the creative potential of our womb space as a place to co-create our reality from our life force within.   Thankfully there are a growing number of women re-membering these ancient rituals and helping us to get back in touch with the natural rhythms of our lives.

Red Tent woman’s circles were traditionally the way these rituals were passed on from generation to generation and young girls got to know about their own cycles and embody a sense of respect and understanding around them.  Unfortunately for many young girls their cycles are not something that are discussed openly, and a girl’s cycle may be seen more as an inconvenience rather than realising the important phase of life that she is being initiated into.   

Often in life as women we try to push through at times when our body is not at its optimum strength.   Other times we are energised and full of ideas but may fail to follow through or even write down our ideas dismissing them as whims of our imagination. 

But when we learn to tune into our own cycles on a monthly and in fact a daily basis we can glean so much important information on working with our body’s wisdom and not against it.

Yoni steaming affects us on many levels and most especially helps us to tap into our root voice, the essence of who we are.    When we can ground ourselves firmly in our root chakra (if you are in a seated position now you are sitting on your root chakra!!) we will be able to become more rooted with life.   We will find that any trust issues we may be harbouring will come to the surface for healing.   We feel more like we belong when our root chakra is balanced. This does not mean we feel we belong to where we live now but, we feel a sense of belonging to something or somewhere rather than an empty feeling of not belonging anywhere.

As well as may physical ailments like support for the symptoms of hemorrhoids Yoni steaming also offers support at an emotional level.

Our second chakra located about 2 includes under our belly button is home to our pelvic bowl and our womb.   When we use yoni steaming the herbs support many ailments including uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts, uterine prolapse & endometriosis.

It also assists with regulating menstrual issues including cramps, back ache, bloating and general discomfort.

Since our second chakra is our emotional centre yoni steaming helps support us at an emotional level to release old wounds and traumas that we may be holding onto unconsciously at times.

Here is a list of the herbs I use.

  • Rose

Rose is a cleansing tonic for the uterus and supports those with heavy menstruation. On an emotional level Rose can help with wounds of the heart that cause our womb area to become blocked, there may be fear of new relationships and an unconscious unwillingness to truly surrender to another.  Rose balances and comforts and supports a healing of these wounds and opens the door to unblocking our sacred womb centre.

  • Lavender

Lavender soothes the emotional and physical body.  It supports our central nervous system and helps us find calm in situations where calm is required.  In this way it is a great herb to add to the yoni steam for any energy blockages that may have built up in our chakra system.  It also supports an individual to speak their truth or let go of something they feel unable to swallow. 

  • Rosemary

Rosemary is a wonderful soothing herb and is used for in this remedy to support painful menstruation. 

  • Motherwort

Motherwort has long been associated with supporting women with symptoms during PMS such as anxiety, digestive disturbances, nervousness and cramps.

Many herbalists recommend it like Rosemary to relieve painful or suppressed menstruation.

  • Yarrow

Yarrow is used to support excessive menstrual bleeding.  Traditionally during birth, midwives and herbalists use yarrow for hemorrhage. Yarrow is also used to prevent painful clots.   Yarrow is used for both initiating menses and for stopping excessive flow. The ancient Chinese say that Yarrow “reconciles opposing forces and brings balance.”

How to use your yoni steam herbs.

Put the dry herbs in a saucepan of hot water for 10 minutes and allow to cool for 5 minutes.  Pour the water and herb mixture into an appropriate bowl or basin that is heat resistant and supports you to sit on top of.   Find a quiet place to relax for about 20 minutes.  Ensure that the steam is not too hot to avoid burns and keep yourself warm with a blanket.  It is a good time to listen to your favourite music or to do some journaling.

Last thing at night is a good time to do it as you are in a restful state, but you can fit this routine into any part of your day that best suits you.

Avoid using yoni steaming during your menstrual cycle, if pregnant or if you have a coil inserted.  

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Red Tent Facilitator, Soul Care Practitioner, Energy Therapist, Author and Mum  

Master The Skill Of What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger To Be Successful

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

6

JUNE, 2018

Celtic Soul Essence

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.   In my opinion saying this to someone who is going through hell and back with a situation is like showing a red rag to a bull, it just doesn’t help.   There are times when we need to consider not throwing around such popular sentiments.  We would be better off to hold our tongue and be a space for someone to just be.

At times we can feel like we are literally being killed in a situation we are going through and in one way we are going through a sort of death.   This may be symbolic in its nature for example we may feel like we are shedding an old skin, an old way of being.   Perhaps we have stood up to an abuser and said “NO, enough is enough”.  This act represents the death of an old way of being, a standing in our power and embracing our free will and sovereignty.

Of course, going back to the sentiment of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, this killing of an old pattern or a shedding of a skin does make us stronger and we can look back with pride that we have gone through and made a change in ourselves for the better.

The way in which we shed old skins or patterns can be different for everyone depending on what story is unfolding for us.

It might even be so subtle that we don’t notice or it may feel so overwhelming that we feel we will never rise again.

Here are some things to think about if you feel like you are going through a crisis in your life.

Is the change necessary for your personal growth?   Again, if you are in the depths of a crisis you may not have a definite answer to this question.  How will your life change?  Will you have to develop courage and strength to walk alone in life?  If so what feelings does this bring up for you?

If you are further along your journey you may be able to look and see the good that came from a situation which seemed life crushing at the time.  Maybe you came away from a marriage in which you were a co-dependant and realise now that you are stronger than you thought, you are managing fine on your own because you have developed an inner strength you didn’t even know was there.

Maybe you met another partner and you find you are an equal in this relationship not a co-dependant waiting for the crumbs of life to be given to you or avoiding situations that you knew would bring the other’s wrath upon you.

“When we have found courage we have suffered pain, when we feel illuminated we have known the darkness”

This is the healing in the crisis situations that are sometimes thrown at us along our journey.

We develop a strength beyond all our imagination, we embrace courage because for some we had to grasp onto something in order to keep afloat.

Maybe you got over a fear you didn’t even know was keeping you stuck.

The journey to where you are now or the journey you may still be on, may seem unfair, unjust, unpleasant and unnecessary but curve balls are our life lessons.    They not only make us stronger they also help us help others who are going through similar situations should we feel inclined to tell our story.    Its hard to have true empathy if you have never known hardship just like its hard to describe a food you have never tried.  We can of course imagine what it would be like to try the food we can use all our senses and conjure up a story.

We may not have voluntarily opened the door to allow the suffering in, but we can certainly close it behind us when we can stand and look back at how far we have come in our personal journey.   We may have dreams that remind us what life used to look like, maybe there is still a bit of us stuck back there in the past story, but we know we can change that too.   Our dreams will often give us these vital clues.  Recently I had a dream about packing up my clothes.  Some of my clothes were in my old bedroom from childhood and some of the clothes I picked up I felt I had never seen before.   I was surprised to find a light coloured new outfit that I was going to wear on my last night of holidays.    It reminded me of a new way of being, a lighter way, not suffocating the real me under layers and layers of un-necessary and dark clothes.

Once I see the hidden gem in this I can make the decision to shed any ways of showing up in the world (symbolically shown as clothes in my dream) and decide to adopt a lighter approach that shows me for who I am to the world.

I have a weekly Women’s empowerment podcast and if you would like to subscribe on Soundcloud if you want to keep updated, you can do so here.

Until next time keep empowered.

Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Soul Care Therapist, Empowerment and Assertive Coach, Energy Therapist, Author and Mum.

 

 

5 Easy Ways to Train your Mind to Be Authentic

5 Easy Ways to Train your Mind to Be Authentic

How to be authentically you?

09

May, 2018

Celtic Soul Essence

What does being authentic feel like to you?  And yes, I did say feel like, because being authentic feels different to everyone.

Being authentic means a whole plethora of things to different people.   It can mean to live in accordance with what makes you feel good, what makes you tic or what brings you joy and happiness.

So at the start of your journey of being authentic you need to find out what being authentic actually means to you.

Empowerment too, is a word that can come into play alongside the word authentic.    We can say we are empowered when we are living authentically.

But again taking the word empowerment and defining it and asking yourself “What does this mean to YOU as opposed to perhaps googling it and coming up with a universally accepted definition that you feel you need to fit into”.

Empowerment like authentic can mean so many different things to different people, it depends on where you are in your life.

For some it can be a deep desire to finally stand up for themselves.

For others it may be a desire to be free and for more a desire to just be.

Photograph via Pixabay

What story we tell ourselves around empowerment is important to our success in achieving what we want to achieve.   Sometimes what we desire is not possible for us at this exact moment of our life but maybe it can be possible in the future.   This doesn’t mean we cannot desire it and draw it to us but this may be the time to just allow acceptance of where we are right now.   But know that accepting a situation for the way it is, is in fact empowering.   It is a step in the right direction.

The best gauge for being authentic is by following your heart.   I did a survey recently asking people what they thought empowerment meant and a lot of the answers came back with the definition of “being free to be me”.

If then being “free to be me” is something you feel is authentic and would bring you empowerment why oh why do we constantly sabotage ourselves from being authentic and empowered beings?

Too often we don’t use our internal gauge correctly, we may listen to it alright but then when someone says something to us about, lets say a decision we make that feels on track and authentic to ourselves, we question this decision and perhaps don’t follow through with it.

Is this living in a way that is being free to be me?

It’s hard at first to break that cycle of allowing another’s judgments define us, if this is the way we have lived our lives to date.  BUT it is not impossible to change.   We can work with our mind just like we can work our muscles.   We can train our mind differently … what a fascinating discovery that is!!

“Training our mind differently or training ourselves to just be without allowing others define us is very doable!”

Here are my five top tips for doing this.

  1. Remember a time in your life when you did something that made you feel good only to feel deflated when your partner or your parent or someone else made a comment and you really took that comment on board. How did you feel?
  2. Really dissect the way it made you feel. Were you angry, sad, frustrated or did you go back to feeling helpless, useless or feeling like a victim?   In other words an old pattern that your mind is used to.
  3. Realise that this thought made you take an action, our thoughts fuel our actions. Imagine if you could find a trigger that would not automatically make you go into auto pilot and take the usual action that you normally take?
  4. Which brings us to the “personal power point” as I call it. What was it that got triggered and what is it that triggers you time and time again when you feel a particular way?   Knowing this personal power point is the gem of wisdom from which you can turn around and teach your mind something different.
  5. Remember your thought is in your head, your feelings are in your body. Sometimes we need to let the head not be so involved and allow our feelings be in control.

Look at how similar our body reacts in these two situations.

  • Think of when you are in danger of something. You have a thought that you are going to be attacked by a big dog, your body reacts to this thought by producing all sorts of feelings and adrenaline.    Your heart might start to race and your palms may get sweaty.
  • On the other hand if something fantastic happens to you and you get a rush of excitement similar things can happen in the body. Maybe you have been nominated for an award and your name is called out.    Your body reacts with an adrenaline rush, sweaty hands at the thought of going up to receive your prize and your heart might be racing.

We can train our mind to take different actions.

So to recap find your personal power point and from there we can learn the triggers that need to be changed in order to train our mind to take different actions.

More on that in the next episode

Until then keep empowered …. Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Founder IrishHealthHour, Author, Empowerment and Assertive Coach and Energy Therapist.

3 Ways to Practice Self Love based on Simple Mindful Practices

3 Ways to Practice Self Love based on Simple Mindful Practices

“The moment you realise your thoughts are intruding and you stop them … that’s mindfulness”

If you have deep-rooted beliefs about yourself, for example if you feel you are not lovable or, if society or others have made you feel this way, then it can be a journey of discovery to find your truth around self love.

When you accept that love is not a destination to be reached but literally a way to walk in life, self-love practices can be integrated into your daily lilve.

Here are three simple ways to begin this journey using mindful practices.

*            Decrease violence in yourself.

Violence towards the self manifests in many, many ways. Perhaps you use violent self-talk towards yourself; telling yourself that you are not good enough or maybe you blame yourself for the actions of others.

When you start to unravel your stories around violent self-talk you will feel an immediate shift in your life.  We are, each one of us, entitled to receive love. Although you may have been hurt many times in the past this does not mean you are not entitled to be loved.   Maybe the people you have fallen in love with are not capable of giving you love or, of giving you the love you need.   Maybe their beliefs about themselves hold them back from truly giving.

You can accept this fact and forgive yourself for loving someone who was not capable of giving you the love you needed.

Develop the practice of deep listening.

When you listen to what your body needs and what your emotions are telling you, you can begin to align yourself with a positive mindset of self-love.

If for example your default emotion is anger, then maybe your anger is trying to tell you that you need to build stronger boundaries. Maybe your sadness is telling you that you need to listen to your gut instinct and let someone or something go.   Maybe your back pain or pelvic problems are telling you, you don’t have enough support in your life and that you need to surround yourself more with supportive people.

When you hone in and really listen you will begin to realise that self-love starts with listening to yourself and not to others.

Avoid using toxins and poisons.

When you use toxic substances in excess in order to fill gaps in your heart you are not respecting yourself.   It is an act of self-love to realise that toxins and poisons won’t mend a broken heart.   If you stop and find the reason why you carry wounds in your heart you can begin to take steps to mend it.   As you embark on this journey you realise your emotional state is an inside job and that you hold the power inside you all the time.

Mindfulness brings you into the present moment where you can consciously look at and listen to what your body really needs.   When you listen to these signals and messages from your body and act on them, you will begin the journey of walking a life based on self-love that will seep out into all areas of your live and have a ripple affect on the way others treat you.

I share lots of inspiring content over at my Women’s Empowerment Podcast, you can find it on Soundcloud.   AND you get my FREE eBook on finding your authentic voice by subscribing on the home page.

Until next time; keep the faith Dolores Andrew-Gavin, Owner of IrishHealthHour, PodcasterSoul Care PractitionerAuthor

Women’s Empowerment Podcast

Women’s Empowerment Podcast

Welcome to my Women’s Empowerment Podcast.

My aim with this podcast is to help women remember and become the empowered people they already are.

We can all get lost in life, being pushed and pulled by our commitments and daily routines.   We can lose track of our own dreams and end up wearing whatever mask we feel we need at any given time.   This can become so habitual that our own identity becomes unwoven from the fabric of our life.  Our thoughts can be scattered and our actions out of alignment with who we truly are.

But we can learn to remember who it is we are without the masks and limiting beliefs.  We can change our story and stand in our personal power taking back the driver’s seat in our own life in a truly authentic and joyful way.

You can subscribe to get notification of weekly podcasts.

Women's Empowerment Podcast

by Dolores Andrew-Gavin | Women's Empowerment Podcast

https://soundcloud.com/dolores-andrew-gavin/episode-1-what-is-empowerment